ABC Real Estate LLC
123 Creativew Way
Logan, UT 84341
Contact: Preston Parker
801-555-4567
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 5, 2008
Preston Parker, the president of ABC Real Estate,has announced a new system to allow more families into homes here in Cache Valley. This simplified version, created by Bill Gatten, was originally created in the 1920’s by the United State government. l. Inhis system there are four beneficiaries; the seller, the credit beneficiary, the investor, and the resident. President Parker said, “with this system, middle class families can get into affordable homes with out the strain of spending everything they have. We are helping not only the residents, but the investors as well.”
For more information on the BDEH, log onto landtrust.net
Jason Rogers
435-770-9987
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5 comments:
Hey Jason, just stoppin by to say your press release is great work! There are some things I would fix in it, but I understand most of the errors are just because of the strict time limit we had to finish the press release. I just noticed a couple of typo errors, and also that it is a little to short. Once again, I understand that was because of what little time we had. I did like the very beginning though. You got right to the point and claryified exactly what it was about. I don't know if i would include the information about the four beneficiaries in the lead though. That would be more supporting information.
I really like your first sentence- you get right to the point and say why ABC Real Estate is so revolutionary. I think you "picked" a good quote as well. Nice start!
and by anonymous I mean Karlie- still figuring this blogging thing out... ha.
I liked the quote at the end the most. I think that did a really good job of summing up the why in this article.
Hello Jason,
This is a really nice news release. You have clearly explained what the new home loan system is.
I think here is one thing you would want to fix. You could add more information for the target audience, investors. You could provide the information about the benefits investors they can get.
Good work!
Han
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